This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
