He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
