Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
false alarm. still invincible.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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