The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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