watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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