I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
