WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
