i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
