thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
