So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
