I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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