if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
