pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
