His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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