elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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