i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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