Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
