I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
