she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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