I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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