you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
