After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
