Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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