Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
