why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
