I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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