That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
