his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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