Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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