Can i not drive my cunt home
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You were trust falling into bushes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
