Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
