its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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