hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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