Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
