I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
