I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
