I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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