As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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