Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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