I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
