Sry I called you an 8
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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