i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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