no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
