I need help removing her.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
