It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
