I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
