sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i drank out of a bidet.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
