i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
