he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
