I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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