When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
