is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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